saata VOL: 2, ISSUE: 2 - APRIL 2018 facebook
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SAATA ITAA Conference-2016 team
Feelings - Aruna Kalahastri home
Aruna-Kalahastri Aruna Kalahastri holds a BA in Psychology, and has a Diploma in TA. She is a certified Ho'oponopono practitioner and has done her level 1 in Systemic Family Constellation. She is currently training under Susan George towards her CTA. She is also doing her apprenticeship in Shamanistic practices. She lives by the mantra all things are connected in the web of life. She loves to read, Zentangle and practice organic gardening.
She can be reached at aruna7.psi@gmail.com

It was a lazy morning in Bangalore, it had rained the previous night and the morning was cold and nice to sleep longer. On any other day getting out of bed would have been impossible, but on that day, I was already awake and ready to leave for my class, 365 Kms away. This journey was very special to me. I started my trip eager to begin my third year of training under Susan George. I was also eager to meet my group and start another year promising to be filled with learning and self -discovery. The topic for that weekend class was 'feelings'.

In my two years of TA training, the word 'Feelings 'had played a big role in my metamorphosis as an individual and as a member of this group. It was these feelings that had lent meaning to my experiences, it was the same feelings that had been limiting my growth as well, it was these which got lodged in my memory and affected my emotions, mood and temperament, yet, it was the same feelings that had helped me to share, process, learn, to connect and find myself again. These made me human in my suffering and helped me be empathetic to others in my learning.

Our session began with our regular rituals of sharing, each of us had so much to tell.

Each of the presenters, presented a feeling. The presentation had the definition of the feeling, its biology, known causes, the ways to recognize, name and cope with them. It also had healthy ways to use each feeling and methods to work with their unhealthy expressions. The presentations were interspersed with exercises and activities, where we formed smaller groups and discovered the times that these feelings made a negative or positive impact in our lives and in those sharing's, we found tears, built strength and held hope of integrating them in our lives. We were making peace with all those pieces of our lives. I also realized that I could learn what I was in learning in that class because of the 2 years we had already spent sensing, feeling, perceiving, emoting and interpreting.

I still get angry, feel scared, guilty and happy; so, what happened in these two years of TA training that made these feelings different for me now? TA, helped me get off the emotional roller coaster rides that I was so habituated to take. It helped me to stop taking rides behind maniacal drivers at whose hands I had placed my life. Now, I drive my own car and I'm at the wheel and it is stick shift (with an option of automatic). I learnt to take control of the wheels, and have the power to dictate who I am. Processing all my feelings and emotions under the TA lenses, I learnt to grow and drive my own car, be aware of them, and take control. Just the way learned drivers can drive dirt roads and tar roads with equal comfort. They do so not just by adjusting the gear and the speed but also having the knowledge of the terrain. TA has helped me name my feelings, own them, and become aware of them. I have learnt how they manifest in me and my environment and how to make life-enhancing responses to them.

Today, TA helps me see the way my script plays out while giving me the power to rewrite my script and the ability to change what didn't work. It also gives me the clarity to integrate all of these to make a more wholesome me. All these years others had the power to tell me who I was, based on their interpretation of my shared thoughts, feelings and behavior. TA helped me realise that I cannot change the way that others interpret what I said or did or how they interpreted my response to them. But I could change the way that I chose to interpret what they said or did to me or how I received their interpretation of my response to them. Over these years the power of 'who I am' came right back to where it belongs- myself. It has not removed my compassion or sensitivity to others. In fact, TA has helped me empathize and respect others' needs and feelings and be responsible for my intentions and actions.

Sitting in this class today, revisiting all those feelings I felt proud that we were as a group thinking of ways to help others integrate these feelings into their lives. We were also sharing ways to grow and heal ourselves. Even as I notice the difference in each of our thoughts, feelings, emotions, or how we express and interpret them in our group, I find solace that each of our journeys is calling us to discover the depth of who we are. The journey is also to meet the other person and their needs and not their masks or their behaviors.

I had mostly been living in the self-blame and pain of the past or in the worry about the future. This had dominated most of my life so much, that I had forgotten to be in the present – be in the moment. Learning about my feelings, my emotions and how I can transact with others from the Adult, helps me to be the captain of my ship and navigate through the rough seas and the calm oceans of my life.

 
Creative Corner
Comics

Crossword
EXPERIENCES
arr TA Proper, Stroking & Time-Structuring
- Ambika
arr Feelings
- Aruna Kalahastri
arr From Playing Games to becoming Sportive
- Kiran Katawa
arr Personal Growth through TA
- Neena Bijoy
arr Autism
- Sapna Sajan
arr TA in South Africa
- Karen Pratt
arr Force or Source
- I.A. Mohanraj
arr A Ranty Soliloquy on Writing!
- C. Suriyaprakash
arr A Teenage Contract
- Lakshmi Prabha
BOOK REVIEW
arr Book: From Anxiety to CTA
- Aruna Gopakumar

Creative Corner
Depression Healing
- Jayashree Swaminathan

Art Addiction
- Vasudha Sridhar

Poem: Hope - A Prayer
- Vikrant Goyal

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