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In Making Change - A Geethan home
Geethan A Geethan is a psychotherapist and supervisor certified by the International Transactional Analysis Association, USA. He holds a Masters Degree in Psychology from the University of Madras. he holds regular workshops on Enneagram, Conflict Resolutions, Parenting etc. for public and corporate houses that help raise awareness of self, and help individuals actualize their potential. He is the Managing Director of Nibbana Institute, Chennai

It's the time of the year when resolutions made in the New Year are being implemented, results tested and the journey towards the set goal has begun.

Almost all resolutions involve changing something in us or our habits – anything that will make our lives healthier & happier. Having resolved to make some change, we start according to a plan. For a while, the changes are visible. However, the challenge is to sustain change consistently. Changes including personal changes like, waking up early in the morning, exercising, dieting and learning a new skill sometimes reach a point, where things appear stuck with little or no change. We feel as though we are back to our old ways and these moments can be frustrating. Why does this happen?

This is because we expect change to be linear. A straight line between a starting point and an end point. However, in reality, the process of change is a non-linear phenomenon. There are many setbacks or ups and downs we may experience before we reach the desired goal. These fluxing moments can be frustrating and what will make a difference is the way we handle these moments of frustration. Handling a change process involves four dimensions: Perception, Action, Resting period and Acceptance.

Perception: Experiencing setback during the process of change is unavoidable. When we perceive such setbacks as our failures we may feel frustrated and be hostile with ourselves. We may blame ourselves or the situation. We may also be self-critical. All this will add fuel to our frustration and tempt us to give up our goal. If we learn to see a setback as a feedback mechanism, it will help us. Feedback gives us an opportunity to assess what we could do differently till we get the desired result.

Action: Having a healthy perception towards change is necessary, though not sufficient. Some changes can only be made by consistent action. The new action is like a tennis game played between the old way of living and the new way of life. In the play of change, when the old way wins one point, create opportunities for the new change process to win two points. In this way one can continue to act till the new change becomes consistent.

Resting period: Action at all times does not help in making a change. Sometimes it's good to take rest in-between the journey. This resting period can sometimes help us find creative solutions to make our change process a success.

Acceptance: There are times when we make our best actions and still we don't get the required results. In such situations it is helpful to remember, "change is not only determination to make something, it is also a courage to let go of something". This attitude helps to accept the situation as it is. At such times it is wise to accept certain limitations and to get on with life with the prayer of Reinhold Niebuhr "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".

Consciously using these four dimensions of perception, action, resting period and acceptance at appropriate times in the process of making any change will help in effectively handling the fluctuations experienced in the journey of making a change.

 
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Solutions & Winners of Previous Issue
EXPERIENCES
arr What is TA Counselling
- Julie Hay
arr In Making Change
- A Geethan
arr Coaching and TA
- Kiran Katawa
arr Lucid Dreaming
- Sivakumar Palaniappan
arr Becoming Socially Intelligent
- Ramya Maheswari

Creative Corner
Dyslexia - A Poster
- Jayashree Swaminathan

Poem: Tchotchke
- Srividya Sivakumar

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