saata VOL: 1, ISSUE: 3 - OCTOBER 2017 facebook

SAATA ITAA Conference-2016 team
Sex in Human Loving - Srinath Nadathur home
Kousalya-Karthikeyan Srinath works as an Agile Coach, enabling IT organisations transform to agile ways of working. A TA trainee in the Organizational Development field, he enjoys writing, listening, speaking and creating comics when time permits.

In Dr. Eric Berne's words, the "official" title of this book is "Cerebral and Behavioral Correlates of Coupling in Higher Primate Communities." His inimitable wit, use of colloquialisms, metaphors, imagery and case reports bind an academic appraisal of Sex into a free-flowing narrative in this book. Berne starts off in his usual style by delving into the vocabulary of the topic, primes the pump by getting the reader closely acquainted with the requisite knowledge (sex organs, the sexual act), deep dives into the human relationship angle of sex, and finishes off as the doctor prescribing healthy ways of interacting with sex.


This is a serious reference book for psychotherapists and counsellors, providing an in-depth view of Berne's thoughts on the topic that Freud postulated to be a prototype of a person's behavior in all walks of life. Based on the Jake Gimbel Sex Psychology lectures that Berne gave in 1966, this book includes further developments in the field of sexual knowledge till the time it was first published in 1970.

I found this book to be an eye-opener in terms of looking at sex from various angles – educative, as a topic of academic interest; evocative, with a child-like wonder; and reflective, as it helped me understand some of my own behaviors. Here's an extract from the "Admiration" section in "Part II: Sex and people" that helped me understand my childhood crushes on my teachers through the Ego States metaphor:

"In admiration, it is the Adult who looks the person over and tells the Child to go ahead. The Adult says, "Boy! He really knows how to.." whatever it is – swim, or dance, or recite poetry, or whatever you may admire most and know how to judge – and the Child takes it from there. Sex may come into this in the case of a schoolgirl crush on a boy or on a female teacher. The girl starts off admiring the teacher in an Adult way for something she does or is, and then her Child takes over and she may get hung up on the teacher and follow her around and perhaps begin to have sexual pictures about her. If the teacher keeps to her position, she will be like a good mother in dealing with the girl's attachment to her, but if she changes the "contract," what might be an edifying relationship between a Parent and a Child is turned into a frolic between two uneasy Children."

The footnote acts as a unique thread binding the book together. Berne collected feedback from women on the manuscript of the book and included many of them in the footnote of the published version as comments by the "Emancipated Woman" (EW). On occasion, he has responded to these comments with his own remarks under the initials E.B. (for Eric Berne).

In summary, this book is a wonderful example of an open and intelligent conversation on the subject of sex.

arr World Conference of TA - 2017, Berlin, Germany
- Rosemary Kurian
arr The Strength of a Woman
- Dr. Navina S
arr Inner GPS
- Namita Shetty
arr Peacefully Messy
- Sheena Yusuf
arr A Curriculum to Release, Recognise and Respond
- Karuna Guruprasad
arr Healing the Shame that Binds You
- Sarmishta Mani
arr Sex in Human Loving
- Srinath Nadathur

Creative Corner
Rainbow Bridge
- Prasad Naveen



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